|Heart Attack Grill
||450 Fremont St, No. 130, Las Vegas
||“Fighting anorexia since 2005,” as its motto runs, this fabled burger joint gleefully pokes its finger in the eye of the healthcare industry with single-, double- and quadruple-bypass burgers (the last coming in at 9,983 calories). But why stop there? Go for the octuple burger: eight patties with 40 slabs of bacon. If you consume it all, you’ll be wheeled out in your very own wheelchair by one of the “nurses,” who already will have doled out a hospital gown for you to wear when you arrive. Anyone weighing 350 pounds or more gets to eat for free. If you do go into cardiac arrest, though, ambulances are on hand to rush you to the ER.
||25 Hudson St, New York
||Miso, sushi, tempura, a Sapporo to wash it down . . . dining on Japanese food is always an adventure, but even more so when a staff of Ninja waiters pop up out of trap doors, doing card tricks and fire stunts. Forget the Michelin stars; the only star that’s important here is the Ninja star.
||3500 N Cicero Ave, Chicago
||Here’s a chance to work off the calories before you eat. Fashioned after Russian-style banias, you can sit in a sauna (your choice of Russian or Turkish) and sweat off the pounds before taking a dip in a pool or having a massage. Then settle down to a meal of pierogis, kholbasa, borscht, chicken soup (or American favorites) and stuff yourself, guilt-free.
|Cabbage Key Inn & Restaurant
||This place has been serving up a taste of Old Florida for 60 years. What makes it special? It’s on an island accessible only by boat. The open-air restaurant serves breakfast, lunch and dinner 365 days a year, offering the kind of fare you’d expect: Gulf shrimp, stone crab, mahi mahi and steaks. Its standout feature? Thousands of one-dollar bills signed by past customers, taped to every available surface.
|Casa Bonita Restaurant
||6715 West Colfax Ave, Lakewood, CO
||Hear the rush of fountains, see a 30-foot waterfall, watch Acapulco-style cliff divers, and listen to street buskers as you chow down on enchiladas (or fajitas) at this Disneyesque restaurant once featured in “South Park.” And yes, there is a mercado stocked with T-shirts, shot glasses, keychains and toys for that all-important souvenir to take home with you.
| Rattlesnake Saloon
||1292 Mount Mills Rd, Tuscumbia, AL
||Troglodytes will love this eatery, carved out of the side of a cliff in Southern Appalachia that was originally used as a hog pen. Named for a rattlesnake den discovered just a few feet away, you can dine on Momma Faye’s rootin’ tootin’ Western fare, from Skunk Rings (fried onion rings) and Chuckwagon nachos, to burgers and chicken fingers. And of course, you can also enjoy theird domestic beers on tap.
|Bors Hede Inne
||10320 Kelly Rd NE, Carnation, WA
||Before you roll your eyes over ye olde eatery, know that this place isn’t just any creative anachronism, hawking hamburgers and hotdogs with madrigal singers in wemples or doublet and hose. The restaurant’s menu comes from actual medieval recipes, such as Fenberry Pye (made with pork, fowl, and fenberries), English shire cheeses, ales, “sider,” and of course, mead. “To the table everybody and stuff yourselves!” But please, silence all newfangled electronic devices.
|Safe House Restaurant
||779 N Front St, Milwaukee, WI
||Don your shades and overcoat and cue the “Mission Impossible” theme song. Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Go on a spy-themed meal, consisting of “Spycialties,” such as Stasi Twists (pretzels), Compromised chips and dips, an assortment of Spyburgers or a Cuban Missile Crisis (a cubano pork sandwich). You can order, of course, a Spytini, served (do we even need to say it?) shaken, not stirred, during Undercover Happy Hour.
|The White Horse Tavern
||26 Marlborough St, Newport, RI
||It isn’t so much that this establishment is weird or over-the-top, but it does have an impeccable pedigree as America’s oldest tavern — and one of the world’s oldest restaurants. So take a bite out of history (going back to 1673) with a meal of classic New England seafood, such as Littleneck clams and lobster. Biz casual is de rigueur — as are reservations.
||2020 Wilshire Blvd, Santa Monica, CA
||Supposedly when one of the five senses is diminished the other four become stronger. That’s the idea behind Opaque, where your taste buds enhance the flavors of your entrée — as you dine in complete darkness. Who knew roasted chicken breast tasted so good? At least, with the lights out no one can see the spills on your shirt — or that game of footsie with your dining companion under the table.