Deal breakers: We’ve all got them, and while there are many more than seven first date mistakes to avoid, we’ve set the most common traps out here for you, so you can plan ahead and be prepared. Most people know them when they see them, but even more fall into them – don’t be that guy or girl others are on the hunt to avoid. Here’s a quick rundown of vibe-killers and first date faux pas that are easily avoided with a little forethought and effort. Read on to learn more about the most common first date mistakes to avoid.
Being Late — Being a few minutes late to work or meeting friends for brunch on occasion happens, but being late for a date counts as bad behavior. When you stroll in 30 minutes late, you’re signaling that you’re not taking the date seriously. Pull it together (or leave early) at least for date Number One – you know what they say about making a first impression.
Talking About Your Ex — No, just… no. No matter how you put it, bringing up your ex will make you sound like you’re either bitter or hung-up on a lover. Either way you’re verbally creating a forcefield around yourself. A first date is your first chance to build a romantic connection: Don’t waste it by focusing on an already failed relationship. If the date goes well, you’ll have plenty of time to reveal your hang-ups and compare notes on exes and regrets later.
Monopolizing the Conversation — It’s really hard to to connect with someone who is busy conducting a monologue. While you may live a fascinating life, you don’t have to perform a one-man-show to prove it. Conversations should be an open exchange of ideas and information, so share some things about yourself, but also make sure to engage your date and ask questions about them so that they’re able to share their own thoughts with you. Amazingly, this is one of the biggest and most common first date mistakes to avoid.
Being a Drag — Worse than monopolizing the convo? Not really saying much at all. Dates aren’t mandatory attendance work seminars, you can’t just get away with showing up and nodding occasionally. If you’re not talking, asking questions, or really even paying much attention to your date, you’re being a total bummer. If you don’t feel the vibe, be gracious, thank your date for meeting up, and excuse yourself. You’re not doing anyone any favors by sitting across from them looking bored.
Bragging About Money — Did you just finance a Wraith? Do a month of Michelin-starred tasting menus as a New Year’s resolution? First of all: That sounds awesome. Second: Stop bragging. There are ways to talk about your accomplishments and points of interest in your life without sounding like a total tool. Name-dropping every celebrity you’ve ever met and referencing how much aspects of your outfit cost isn’t endearing.
Wandering Eye — It’s only a first date, not a committed relationship, but don’t be impolite. Be present. Catching a glimpse of an attractive stranger is one thing, but scanning the room for a better option is just rude.
Phone Fetish — Speaking of being present, staring at your phone is almost worse than flirting with the bartender. Your phone will be there after the date ends. Don’t spend the whole time you should be getting to know that someone special scrolling through your feeds and checking to see if the sexy stranger across the room is on the same dating app as you.
Are you afraid of making rookie mistakes on your upcoming first date? Avoid them by reading more about the worst first date mistakes to avoid below:
Regina Bresler is a native Brooklynite who spends her days running feral through the internet, and her nights talking to strangers. She's covered entertainment + culture for Cosmopolitan, Death & Taxes, Heeb, and Flavorpill. Sneak a peek into her inner monologue via Instagram/Tumblr/Twitter: CloudsAndCandy