Unlike your mom, not everyone is going to love you unconditionally, especially at the office — but there are several to be more likeable at work if you’re willing to put in just a tad more effort. Sometimes our roles as taskmaster can make us seem villainous in a colleague’s eye; other times we have a disagreement with a co-worker that we think has been resolved, but is met with lingering resentment. In all cases, not all is lost. Here are 10 hints, tips, and pieces of advice you can apply to be more likeable at work, to win over the people in your office, and be a better communicator and leader overall
Be Kind: Everyone needs to work together. Be the person people want to work alongside. Say good morning. Smile at someone when you see them. Hold that elevator door.
Be Calm: Try to stay centered while the world swirls around you. When a crisis arises, step back from it and offer perspective. Be the shelter in the storm, the rock for the team. Everyone needs that person.
Be Genuine: Fake compliments get you nowhere (and are not one of the top 10 ways to be more likeable at work). If you like something that someone has done, said, or contributed, let them know. Say it to them personally or drop them a note. If you disagree with someone, say so and explain yourself. Be yourself and others will respect it.
Be a Contributor: What can you bring to the team that no one else can? How can you help make your business grow and succeed daily? Figure it out and do that. There is always one person in a company and no one is quite sure what they do. Don’t be that person – bring your best work to the table.
Be Reliable: Answer that email. Come through on that presentation. Don’t forget to pick up the pies that you promised you would pick up for the party. We are all busy and can present our best work to the outside world or our superiors. Let your peers know you have their backs no matter what.
Be a Connector: Everyone has a friend who can recommend the best bars or the neighbor who knows the best plumber. Be that person at work. Do you know a former intern who’s looking for a job and a manager who needs a new assistant? Make that connection and change two people’s lives for the better.
Be a Good Listener: Always be ready to hear someone out. Often, the people who come to you won’t want advice, they just want someone to pay attention. Listen and you will be loved.
Be Vulnerable: We spill coffee on ourselves far too often. That’s why stain sticks were invented. No one’s perfect. We are all human, and so are you. Don’t hide it. It’s in the imperfections that we become approachable and relatable.
Be a Team Player: You are only as good as your team. You don’t have to be best friends with everyone on it, but you do need to show up when everyone needs you and support your teammates.
Be There: If you can’t make the meeting, be in the open space alongside everyone else. Make yourself available for your direct reports by taking their calls and answering their emails. Be around physically or mentally if they need help and there if someone simply needs advice.
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Victoria Cairl writes about women and work. She's is the VP of Business Development at Show-Score.com, having previously worked at Lincoln Center, The Met Museum and Disney Theatrical. She is a mentor, feminist and an entrepreneur based in New York City.