Maybe the best answers to the age-old question of “What do women really want?” can be found in our list of dating tips for men from women – the very objects of their affection. After all, you’d be amazed what you learn when you simply ask the question. Below, you’ll find several expert hints, tips, and insights from ladies themselves on what guys need to know to make sense of the dating game and stand a chance of going the distance. So whether you’re looking to just have fun, or looking for a relationship, simply read on to get the scoop on how to up your chances of making a connection.
Be Yourself – This may seem like a no-brainer, but show us who you are, not a curated façade. In the social media age, we’ve all become accustomed with showing only the angles of our face and lifestyle that are click-friendly. Don’t do that in real life. We want to hear your awkward laugh and get a glimpse of your dorky obsessions. And we can usually tell when you’re faking interest or yessing us to death for the sake of second dates and booty calls.
Take It Easy – We all desire a physical connection. That’s a tacit agreement in the dating world, but it doesn’t make every date a guaranteed hookup. Take your time and let us take ours. Ham-fisted sweet talk and insincere compliments might seem like the fast-track to romance, but when you lay it on too quick and thick you’re doing everyone a disservice. Pay attention to our physical and verbal cues and let those dictate the pace.
Mind Your Manners – We hope your parents taught you the basics of etiquette. Say “Please” and “Thank You.” Hold the door open. Don’t belch at the dinner table (of all our 7 dating tips from women for men, shouldn’t that be obvious?). It’s not too hard to keep it together on a date — just a few hours of putting your best self forward.
Put in Some Effort – No one expects you to show up in a top hat and tails. But please (please, please!) don’t show up in dirty sweats, ungroomed, or noticeably ripe. Check any women’s magazine and you’ll see how many (often unreasonable) expectations are heaped on us to be plucked, primped, and polished for even the most cursory encounters. The least you can do is rinse off between CrossFit and your date.
Be Transparent – If you’re looking for a weekend fling, someone to have on call for Cuffing Season, or the future mother of your child, be clear about your intentions. It makes things easier for everyone, as you’ll be dealing with less arguments set off by unmet expectations, and you’re bound to have a generally better and less stressful time. There’s no shame in wanting what you want — honesty is the best policy, so be up front, and we can all be on the same page.
Respect Our Time – Don’t flake at the last minute. Show up on time, and if at all possible, have some semblance of a plan. We’re all busy doing this “adult responsibilities” thing, so if someone has carved out a few hours for you, respect that. Don’t make plans you have no intention of keeping, and don’t keep plans when you have no intention of being present.
Bow Out Gracefully – One of the most important (and admittedly most awkward) parts of dating is knowing when to tap out and how. When things aren’t going smoothly, the chemistry is off, or you’re feeling a whole lot of feelings — for someone else — let us know. Don’t drag things out to protect our egos or protect your self-image of being a “good guy.” Be direct, be kind, and be gone. None of us want to be strung along.
Need more help getting ready a date? Get more than 7 dating tips for men from women at these inside sources:
Suzanne is a journalist in Queens, New York. She’s interned at Rolling Stone, NBC local media, Mashable and the Queens Chronicle. Though she’s from upstate New York, she considers herself a Queens girl. If she’s not writing or editing, she’s probably scrolling through goat Instagrams.