The term pick-up artist, or PUA for short, automatically conjures a mixed bag of extreme emotions. If you can ignore the bright colors and excessive hair gel, many of these guys and gals who describe themselves as PUAs actually provide a few dating gems once in a while. We pulled together a few of the best suggestions for dating and meeting men or women. Check it out and report back on your progress. Good luck!
Avoid the Friend Zone – Pretending to be a woman’s friend when you really want to date her makes you look weak. This is a good way to really end up in the friend zone. If you do end up there, one way to get out of that space is to treat her like you’d treat one of your homeboys.
Choose the Right Dating App – Are you an eHarmony, Tinder or OkCupid type of woman or man? Knowing this up front is important, because each of these sites draws a different type of potential mate or hookup. Know what you’re looking for and proceed. —Julie Spira
Know Your Hard Limits – Dr. Melanie Mills advises women to know your non-negotiables. Even your prospective crush is attractive and the vibe is right, if the person does something that you know will be an issue in the long run, then don’t get involved. Small things can be overlooked, but big things (non-monogamist, felonies, etc.) should be taken seriously.
Don’t Over Do It – Razyar Zavvareh says to keep the compliments to a minimum because women rarely respond to them. He believes that guys compliment women to make them stand out from the other men in the room, and that women can pick up on the fact that the compliment isn’t really meant for them, but rather a way of calling attention to himself.
Be Nice – Whether the woman is receptive to your advances or not, always be nice. “We were taught that if a woman is not interested we should always smile and be polite, even if she is rude—especially if she is rude because this trains us to be non-reactive,” says ex-PUA Nathan Thompson.
Control the Date – The man should plan and execute every aspect of the date, but should also keep his date’s opinions in mind.I might say to a woman “Hey, I’m gonna get something to drink. This place has an excellent margarita. Do you want me to get you one?” That way, you are taking charge but also giving her an “out” if she doesn’t want a margarita,” says Woujo.
Kiss Like It Counts – The first kiss matters. According to Christian Hudson, women can sense a man’s confidence by the way he kisses her… especially the first time. Kissing is also a precursor to sex.
Don’t be Afraid to be Vulnerable – “A very alpha woman who can show a more tender, vulnerable side is intoxicating, and so is a shy or introverted woman who can demonstrate a more passionate or naughty side,” pick-up coach Kezia Noble explains.
Dress the Part – You don’t have to dress like a peacock, but it’s OK to stand out—in a classy way.You’ve heard the phrase “first impressions matter,” right?Well, with women this doesn’t even begin to cover it. See, a woman will size up a guy in just a few seconds. By the time he opens his mouth, she already knows whether or not she wants to ignore him, or give him her number,” says Vince Lin.
Be Deliberate – PUA Jesse Charger suggests that men talk slow and use their diaphragm when speaking. Also, use deliberate pauses and delays in conversation. Avoid fillers, and remember that excessive use of words like “um,” “yeah,” and “right” will make you appear boring and unsure.
Branden J. Peters byline has appeared in multiple outlets including askmen.com, XXL, Playboy, Source, Complex, Vibe, Hoop, Slam, Bleacher Report and more. He is currently the top editor for Proday.co, as well as the host of the critically acclaimed weekly Day 1 Radio podcast.